Well i just try to write everything in English. It is not bcz i could speak and write in English fluently like others.

I just try to remember how to write.

Lately i have so many fears which reflects on my dreams everyday. I

 had a dream about stuck in crashed tongkang, traditional huge boat, in out of nowhere river. I was surrounded by huge crocodile which has the same size as the tongkang. Before i watched Suzanna’s, one of Indonesian horror legendary actress, was played on ANTV. It was Queen of White Crocodile.


Last night i was dreaming about my sister g

ot a malnutrition. In my nightmare, she got skinnier body and became shorter with baggy sunken eyes. I just worry about her so much bcz she was so far away from us.


Last i had a dream that i was attending one of medical seminar. It was an international one. I lost some schedule and having a lack information what it had been discussing over there. While the other participants were having much better infos. It is such a probabilities i hate getting dummier in medical field. And i long for having a higher scientific medical info. I long for having a higher tittle. I hope i could study higher even it is hard to do. I hate being dummy.


Nightmares make me realize my unconcious needs and fears. I should have a back up plans.

No need to worry what your life will go through. Act and think positively. You can go everywhere if you are good enough. So be good, do good things.


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